The "A Mother To All" Tag: An Overdue Discovery

in Hive Naijalast month

All my life until my leaving home days for study, I was always at home with my family including extended family most of the time. As the eldest child and daughter of my family, it is expected of me to know how to do most of the house works especially the kitchen work. Even though I was still the most laziest one, I didn't have much choice than doing the work assigned to me.

So it was totally normal when I grew up to do some things even before being told and do it well enough. I don't even remember playing the elder sister role so well on my younger siblings but until later, I learnt more about myself than I ever thought.

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I was going to talk about how people started taking notice of my face when I'm not smiling, it's a physical character I'm still trying to fix but I'm not bothered much about it. I do have a nice smile and because of that, people expect me to always wear my smile. I try my best to do that but the only few times I'm not wearing one, I get comments on how my face looks angry lol.

That aside, one character trait I didn't know about myself or maybe I thought it just wasn't a part of what people would give remarks on is, taking everyone in as family and playing mother role on them.

I read somewhere that men do not like women trying to play mother over them when they get married, I got scared that I may be in that category lol. But honestly, mine isn't that severe but it definitely is somewhere inside me to want to act it out.

I first got the comment from a lady, surprisingly. And that was during my predegree program when I had to live with people who aren't my relatives for the first time. I was so sure I'd find it difficult to live with people who I don't know until I found myself in the situation and people just love to be around me.

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At first, I didn't know why people wanted to be around me instead of the others I thought they would prefer. It's not like I was rich or very beautiful, so I thought until I asked a girlfriend and she told me like it was something I was supposed to know and that I was just asking to hear it again.

"You na mama people na, you nor fit see person dey hungry come quiet" (her response in pidgin).

You know that moment when you run through flashbacks and just burst into laughter, I had one that day. For the fact that I thought it was normal to act as I did with my siblings to others I came across, I didn't know I was showing a character that not many around me had.

In my university days, I got the title "Mama Lodge" because of the same character and right now, I'm doing my service. I've somehow earned the title again especially when I got another corper join me in my room. Trust the guys to always remind me of this my character anytime anywhere, it's too clear now.

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Well that is a beautiful trait. Always pays to be kind. You never know who might be watching

It really does
Thanks for stopping by 😊

I feel like every first daughter has this mother role thing, just like my big sister, she can go the extra mile in getting things done for her younger siblings and I really admire that about first daughters, for always carrying the cross of the younger ones on their shoulders even when its heavy.

It's not easy but I think it is something we just can't live without doing, at least most of us.

That's a beautiful trait to have cause people feel so warm around you. Nicely written, Merit. Thoroughly enjoyed this.

Even I am glad to have people find this among my traits, thanks for stopping by.

You are absolutely beautiful <3 I had to laugh at your segment about not smiling! I have the same problem. It's called resting bitch face! hehehe. In truth I look like that because I'm concentrating hard, or just trying to see you - I have terrible eyesight 😂😂

😂😂😂
That's funny!
I hope they just let us be, smile whenever we want to and rest our faces when we want as well 😀

absolutely! I hate it when people (especially men) say "You'd be a lot prettier if you smiled." Like giant eye-roll here 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

🤣🤣🤣
I can totally relate
Do they mean, I'm a little ugly without the smile? 😂

I think they want us to smile specifically for them... to make them feel better about themselves, and while making someone genuinely happy is great, the intention here is horribly self-serving. I do not have to smile for anyone.

You're right, I've sensed it that way before too.

Trusting our senses as women is so difficult to do. We're often gaslighted into thinking we can't live life without a man and that there are fears and dangers and complicated things we can't deal with without them. I'm definitely not saying I want to live without a man, but being independent as much as possible is super important if we want to break generational conditioning.is more about our senses than anything else <3 Also, we never know when we are going to be stuck in a position where the men we need are not there. Like changing a tyre for instance! A Lady should always check her oil, water, and tyre pressure at the gas station! They also don't teach us how to do our taxes every year, and that's something really important, a life skill, that we should all learn. That and financial management. My gran, who was happily married until her husband passed away suddenly when she was 49, said to me, no matter what, always have your own money. you never know when that rainy day will come!

These are wise words and I truly appreciate them, would keep this in mind as I think I'm on the path of less dependency already. Thanks sis.

<3
!Luv
!lady
!hug

When I call you “momma” is me that's Just wanting to speak English.. If not you're sure a “mama to all” truly🥹

Haha this girl ehn, thank you my dear 😊

I haven't seen this trait in you oooo! I guess you've been hiding it because I haven't been dashed HBD once.
Unhide it from me please 😂

🤣🤣🤣
It shall remain hidden 😅

That's a nice trait , merit. Anywhere you go , people must surround you. You're mother general hahahaha. There is no way you will have such trait and refuse to put on a smiling face even when you are sad. Maybe that was why I already liked you . Keep it up.

Awww thanks so much for your kind words @ladyfoth i hope to keep it up 😊

Mhiz smiler not smiling is not a face anything he would want to see lol.

Lol I have hear you 😅

That's a very nice trait oo, I think guys like girls who are homely and all.
I think every first born daughter is always like that , they are like the second mom of the house .

Haha I hope so o
Cause I can't change me like this 😅

Yh

Ezinne Mama

🤣🤣🤣

Cutie