Woulda coulda shoulda is just fine with me, it means people are analyzing past mistakes.
It's when people get stuck shouting you can't change that!!! that I begin to worry.
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Yes, totally normal. People just have to be careful with it. It's not a place one wants to be stuck or it can extend to that level of frustration you describe.
Finding solutions wasn't meant to be easy, I guess. Probably a fact of life in there somewhere.