I try to remember the good times. I also look at photos we had together and reminisce. I think what you are doing, topping up memories, is very smart. It refreshes your memory. On their birthdays and deathdays, we usually visit their grave and pray.
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Yeah, I think that's normal for most. I'll admit that I don't tend to go to gravesites much as I don't really feel the person is there anymore, although every now and then I go to my parents and grandparents graves and put some flowers on there.