One thing that I despise is the phrase "It is what it is" when people use it in the context of something they could change but pretend to be a victim instead.
Using your post yesterday as an example... "our house is always a mess because of our kids, it is what it is."
That mentality is infuriating to me. It is what YOU make it! Of course, that doesn't apply to things that are truly out of your control.
How do I apply this? If I don't like something, if it is within my sphere of influence and control, I try my best to take responsibility and make changes. A leader I admire uses the phrase "fix what bugs you" and I use that as motivation to make changes and improve things.