We have lots of causes of depression. Every one has his or her own side of the story. But the worse stage of depression is when one takes his or her own life because of depression. Of course yes. Some people have taken their own lives because of depression. You just feel like to end everything. You just feel too bad that everyone seems to be okay and you are not.
Well for this week 107, edition 1, when I saw the topic some things just rushed through my mind. Thought were coming from what I have faced before now to what I have seen others face in life. I just decided to share my own story.
But first what does the dictionary has to say concerning depression? According to oxford dictionary, depression is the state of mind producing serious, long-term lowering of enjoyment of life or inability to visualize a happy future. I agree with this definition. And this will lead us to my story.
My first few years into marriage was not too palatable at all. It was very unfortunate for me because I didn't see into the future, so, I just allowed anything to just highjack my happiness. I know better now and I know that there is no way I will allow such to happen to me now. Two months into our marriage, my sister in-law came visiting and because I noticed that she was not doing anything at home I decided to convince my husband to allow her stay so that at least she can continue with her Education. That was where I went and bought problem for myself. I was just been a good wife ohh. Hahaha 😂. It wasn't funny back then. This lady is of my age so, I can't even send her some errands. She decides what she wants to do and when.
My husband went to the college of education Akwanga Nasarawa state to get her the admission form. She started schoolling almost immediately. Before she could stay for a year the whole story changed. She goes for lectures and come back and just go straight into her room in the name of reading for the next day. At a point I became uncomfortable with her character. She doesn't even care if I needed help. All she knows is that she is in her elder brother's house and she will just do the way she pleases. Just after one year two of her younger ones came to stay with us. That was when I realized that I am now married. Three of them will just sit down to discuss me. They say that I am not good enough. I came from a different background. I don't eat some of their food. I'm too selective. I will finish their brothers money. I won't allow him help them like before.
Depression set in. I can't even talk to my people because I was asked not to go that far to get married. My mother practically told me that it is better that I am married close to our place so that when they are treating badly I can easily run home. I went against all her advice because of love. Now love can't save me. My husband was busy trying not to hurt his siblings, but I was seriously hurt. Even when I tried to explain things he will just wave it off.
Friends, I was standing alone. No one was seeing from my own side. I started regretting why I got married to my husband in the first place. I felt so bad that most times I stay inside my room and cry all day. I faced it all alone. If I want to react I will be reminded that I am a Christian who is not sopposed to react when people offend. For more than seven years of my marriage I was miserable. I hated myself. I hated my husband. I hated all his siblings given my all the troubles. At that point I made a decision that will stand forever in my family henceforth.
HOW DID I MANAGED TO MOVE OUT OF THAT DEPRESSION?
When I was tired of keeping quiet I started fighting back. I know that it gave me a bad name at that time, but it brought my freedom. Some people started saying that I don't want my husband's siblings to come and visit. Some say that I am lord it over my husband. Alot was said, but sincerely I don't care. I know that somehow I need to stand up for myself or I will die there.
LESSONS FROM MY EXPERIENCE.
I have learnt that couples should be left alone for at least their first five into marriage.
Secondly, I strongly advise young couples to try as much as they can to help their siblings but keep them far away from the family.
No one should die in silence just because of what people will say. I know that if I had gone back home to my people and report what was happening or better still go to an elderly couple to speak out, maybe I would not have suffered the way I suffered.
Conclusively, let's all say no to depression, is not a good thing at all. Make yourself happy even when no one cares. God is also there for you, ao we can always talk to Him concerning our problems.
Thanks for hopping in.
