I had the intention of writing a post today about the most excellent bookstore and bistro I visited Friday, and I will still get to that, it's just that this weekend took a bit of an unexpected turn and I am feeling all ruminate-y at the moment.
So, that means that you, dear readers, get a bit of a mind meander and musing post on this soggy Sunday morning.
In a one day period, my grandma, a dear friend's brother, and another dear friend's mother, all went to the hospital. There were ambulance rides, people in critical condition, the harsh realities of aging and mortality, the anguish it causes their loved ones, all stacking up in my consciousness like an pain-causing set of existential crushing weights.
My daughter, who is a nursing student, works in the local hospital, and she said that they are currently facing a crush of a quad-viral wave combined with an onslaught of MRSA.
And one of my dearest friends just found out that their sister, who was thought to have 80% survive-able cancer went to a terminal diagnosis in just four weeks time.
There is definitely a pallor of malaise in the aether.
Now, I believe some of it is just winter. And some of it is just as one gets older, has more people connections, and just plain knows more souls, that there is sometimes season's of bodily woe.
But in some ways, it seems like the intensity of the onslaught of mortality is increasing. I mean, I know we all have a terminal diagnosis and with each day I live I am getting close to the long nap, but at the same time, the overall tone of life here lately just feels, different.
Now, I am probably being a bit melodramatic as I am just processing all the feels for all those whom I love and are suffering, but holy wow has it been a couple days.
And I haven't even gotten into the normal human life detritus that has been waded through...
So, that's why this misty Sunday morning I am a bit pensive. It feels like something is coming and all this suffering is a harbinger. I can't quite put my neurons on it, but at the same time, I don't really want a foreshadowing of events either.
Quite honestly, I would love to spend the next several months learning about the intricacies of the human psyche, celebrating the imminent graduation of my youngest offspring, and growing all manner of tasty foodstuffs to craft even tastier comestibles out of.
Is it too much to ask for a bit of a reprieve and a morsel of cozy hobbit life?
Yet, even in the chaos there are little glimmers of joy. My daughter and her boyfriend are coming over for dinner tonight. I am currently simmering the sauce for that meal as they both adore my homemade spaghetti. I even baked fresh bread for the garlic bread portion. They just got back from Disneyland I am excited to hear about their journey.
And right in the midst of this onslaught of harshness, my son got some lifechanging news. (I'll also be doing another post on that topic soon).
Which goes to show you, no matter what or how you feel, life keeps on lifing. The world keeps on spinning, and cliche-like platitudes aside, it's all so worth experiencing, even the hard bits.
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