Greetings!
My early days of life(16 to 19 years) were spent immersed in church life, and I was privileged to be around many top spiritual leaders. This experience gave me some basic understanding of life, its harsh experiences, and how to handle them when they come.
There was a particular period when one of the committed followers in our church lost his 11-year-old boy through drowning in a river. This man was soaked in sorrow; he believed that God had forsaken him because, despite his dedicated service, God had allowed his son to die. He vowed never to go to church again. Not only that, but he also separated himself from people because he couldn't fathom the whole occurrence.
During this period, I had the opportunity to accompany one of my clergies on a visit to see him—not to preach to him about returning to church, as he was madly angry at God—but simply to encourage him to crawl out of his despair, let go of his emotions, and start living a normal life again.
"Do you know that many people have passed through this stage, even more severe experiences, and are now living well? The thing is, yes, you lost your son, but there's a reason you're still alive," my pastor said. It sounded like a church sermon, which made the man frown deeply. He replied, "If I had died as well, it would have been better."
My boss laughed and asked, "So, you mean if I hand you a knife right now to cut yourself to death, would you do that?" The man didn't reply and remained silent, which was the opportunity my boss used to pull him out of the dungeon he had placed himself in. Gradually, the man started to mingle with people again. Although it took him some time to see that there was still life for him to live and that he shouldn't dwell on the pain of the past, he did eventually come out.
The truth is that some emotional pain can consume us, making us see the world as unfit to live in. Even though the situation may be hurtful, dwelling on it won't solve any problems; it will only be like locking oneself inside a cage.
If I were to advise someone finding it hard to let go of hurtful emotions or experiences, I would adopt the pattern my boss used. I would try to help them see that there is still a life to live as long as they are alive.
I had a friend back then whose mother was always sick. Each time she got call from home about her mother's illness, she would cry and cry, stay for weeks in sorrow. I was so close to her and would always tell her to patch up her mind and look forward to the days when those challenges would be over, when she would no longer have to cry every week. I said this with the mindset that her mom would be healed, but after two years, her mom died, which hurt her deeply.
But guess what? This lady is now living a 'groovy' life. Her TikTok videos amaze me, and whenever we talk, I remind her of how teary she used to be. She always says, "Kingsley, that's life. Hurtful things happen, but we shouldn't dwell on them. There's surely a better life to live."
So, that's it. When hurtful emotions hold you back, remember that better days are waiting. You can't reach them if you remain stuck in one spot.
Thanks for reading.
This is my response to #Kiss prompt
Photos used are mine
