I got two daughters, 9 and 13. So I am almost at the other end of the tunnel. My 13 year old is a decent cook and can make food for herself and sister (and even for me!). It gets better soon, trust me. But what you are going through, my wife and I had been through as well. I say that night out is a win. Take small wins. It helps.
Thanks for the reply, AZ! I am glad to hear that the "nightmare" eventually ends and that I'm not alone in never getting any away time for my wife and I. I suppose misery loves company in that way. My kids are very antagonistic towards each other at times. In one moment, they will be best friends, playing together... and the next they are in a full out brawl! Love that your 13 year old is capable of helping out a little, I'm looking forward to that stage when I can rely on my kids to do something other than make messes. Right now, I'm resigned to my fate. One day I'll have them all mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, shoveling snow, doing the laundry etc so just gotta survive without a heart attack until then. One can dream! lol