Life in the remote villages of the Isan region is never boring, especially at dinnertime. Out here, the jungle and the local ponds are our grocery stores, and the menu changes depending on whatever we manage to catch. Today was a highly successful day for foraging, and our catch was quite impressive: some fresh river fish, a few grass snakes, and the star of the show—a decent-sized monitor lizard!
The Ubiquitous Dragons of Thailand 🐉
If you have ever travelled to Thailand, you probably know that monitor lizards (Varanus) are practically everywhere. You can spot them swimming in Bangkok's canals or sunbathing in city parks. Some of these prehistoric-looking creatures can grow to absolutely massive sizes, sometimes reaching up to 3 meters (nearly 10 feet) in length!
In many parts of the country, locals are completely accustomed to them. In fact, some people treat them almost like community pets, watching them crawl out of the water to beg for a tasty leftover bone.
However, in the Isan region, we look at them a bit differently. Here, they are traditionally viewed as an excellent, high-protein source of wild game. The one we caught today isn't a three-meter monster, of course, but it is the perfect size for a hearty village snack. So, let’s get right into the cooking process!
Step 1: The Wildest Pre-Cooking Method 🔥
The cooking method here is incredibly simple, straightforward, and—honestly speaking—pretty wild. You basically take the monitor lizard and throw it directly onto hot coals.
However, there is a crucial nuance you need to know. Monitor lizards are scavengers, meaning they are incredibly dirty and heavily contaminated with bacteria, especially inside their mouths and entrails. Trying to gut a raw monitor lizard is a total nightmare because their skin is exceptionally tough, thick, and covered in armour-like scales. Furthermore, piercing the stomach while it's raw risks spreading dangerous bacteria throughout the body.
To solve this, the first step is to place the entire animal directly over the fire to sear the skin and let it simmer briefly from the inside.
Step 2: Safe Butchering with a Machete 🔪
Once the heat does its job and the lizard literally boils from the inside out, the butchering process becomes significantly easier and much safer. You will notice the body becomes bulging, puffed up, and turns a yellowish tint—that is the sign that the internal fluids have boiled over the coals.
At this stage, the skin softens up just enough. To gut it, the locals simply take a sharp machete and slice the lizard open right there on the grill grate. They shake out the dangerous entrails completely, discard them, and leave the clean carcass on the grill to continue roasting.
Step 3: Frying It to Jet-Black Perfection 🍖
The final stage of cooking requires patience and a lot of heat. The meat is fried until the exterior turns completely jet-black.
This intense charring isn't accidental or the result of careless cooking; it is a vital safety measure. We need to be absolutely certain that both the wild meat and the bones are thoroughly seared through, ensuring that any remaining bacteria are completely eradicated.
The Final Feast: Dinner, Isan Style 🌾🥃
Once the meat is thoroughly cooked, it's time for the meal itself. We don't eat this kind of exotic game plain. To enjoy it the right way, we serve it with traditional village accompaniments:
Sticky Rice (Khao Niew): The ultimate staple of any Isan meal.
Jaew Sauce: A mouth-burning, ultra-spicy dipping sauce made from fermented fish sauce and crushed dry chilli powder.
Local Moonshine: A shot of strong, homemade village alcohol to wash it down and complement the wild flavour.
And that is just another ordinary, authentic day of how we live and survive out here in the rural heart of Thailand!
Would you ever dare to try a piece of charcoal-grilled monitor lizard, or is this way past your comfort zone? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
