Many people say "wedding is for the family, while marriage is for the couple." Well, if you are hearing this for the first time, you might not understand what it means, especially if you are not a Nigerian, but fear not, for I am going to explain what those phrases mean.
You see, in Nigeria, it is very common for both families to make preparations when a marriage is going to take place in the family. Most times, the couple has little to say about the wedding ceremonies. They can give ideas of what they want, and if they want the wedding ceremony to be successful, they always give a chance for all family members to chip in with their ideas.
Now that this has been explained, we will talk about the main topic. The introduction was necessary to establish the point I am going to make later on. One of the things that happens at weddings that I detest is the serving procedure. Attending weddings where the food service is managed by family members from either the bride's or groom's side does not always bring me joy.
Most of the time, the family members do not give the servers the autonomy they need to serve everyone and make the reception a place people would like to be. Some family members can be so authoritative that even the servers have no say in rendering the service they are paid for.
I like it when the people in charge of the food are given the liberty to do what they are meant to do. I have attended several weddings, and this happens often. I attended a friend's sister's wedding last year. I went for the traditional wedding, the church wedding, and the last place everyone is going to meet is at the reception. I got late to the reception, and someone already took my seat, so I had to sit somewhere else. The table I sat at was one where I wasn't known. Several times, the waiters would pass our table with food on their trays without looking at our table. I called one of them and asked if they wouldn't serve our table, and she said, "We are asked to serve some tables because the aunt to the bride said so," and I was from the husband side.
The people at my table are already grumbling, and there is nothing they can do. So I got up, went to the main chef, and asked her to send food to the table. She then asked me, "Who are you?" (in Yoruba language)
I was about to get angry, but I had to control my emotions. "So you mean until someone from either side of the family tells you to serve a table before you do?" The main chef refused to listen to me as I was talking to her calmly. During that process, the junior brother to the groom saw me, then ran towards where I was and prostrated to greet me. (In Yoruba land, prostrating to greet someone is a sign of huge respect for that person.)
The junior brother to the groom was the one who hired the chef and was about to throw out some instructions when he saw me. He inquired why I was there, and I explained everything to him. He got furious, and I let his tongue lash the chef. I was taken back to the high table, but I made sure that table got the food they had been waiting for.
Such an act at the wedding is one I detest.
Anyways, this is my entry for the Hivenaija weekly prompt. You are free to join the community and engage with them. Thanks for reading.
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