Dear men all around the world.
Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? Or are you looking for one?
Then… ohhh… it’s time for some advice.
Only if you’re brave enough to read something you probably never read before. Or never wanted to read 😏
Because most men think like this:
“Ah yes, my wife is crazy only once a month (cute crazy!). I will survive. I will stay quiet for 7 days. Then it’s over.”
NO.
No, no, no. You won’t survive!
Maybe the first few years… sure. But then the woman realizes: oh, he’s still here…
And THAT is when she shows her true face.
And then the horror starts. For you. Not for us 😊
That's the inner side of a woman! That's why you need to be careful! 😂
So… my sweetheart met me 15 years ago.
And I honestly think he still doesn’t know how to react when a woman has mood swings. Or how to survive them without black eyes and broken ribs.
First few years? I was NICE. Very nice.
Then we moved in together. And that was it. No escape anymore when those days came.
Believe me, I tried to help him. At first, my advice was gentle. Little hints. Cute signs.
But oh boy… he learned NOTHING.
So later I started saying everything directly. Straight to his face.Still nothing.
At one point I even thought: maybe he likes this side of me?
But...apparently… not 😏
Some days I was lying on the couch, watching TV, holding my stomach, moaning like I was dying. Cramps. Pain. Drama. And of course...NO painkillers in the house.
Poor man. I accused him of taking all the pills and leaving me to die.
(Did he take them? No.)
But you know what his biggest mistake was?
NO SWEETS. NOTHING. EMPTY.
That day… he learned something very important.
No sweets during those days = black eye risk!
And honestly… there is no man in this world who keeps a calendar of when his wife is going crazy 😉)
So he learned something better...
The sweets cabinet must ALWAYS be full. ALWAYS.
Much easier than a calendar 😉
He knows I’m not a big sweets lover. I eat them mostly only those days.
So now he’s very careful not to eat them all.
And then… one special evening came.
I was lying on the sofa.
Watching TV.
It was already 9 p.m.
And suddenly…
I wanted sweets. BADLY.
Like a true gentleman, he went to the cabinet. Opened it.
His face went white.
Empty.
No candy.
No chocolate.
Nothing.
He looked at me and said very carefully: “Honey… you remember that time when you ate the last piece of cake that was mine? And I wasn’t angry?”
Me: 😐
“Well… it looks like I ate your chocolate. The last one…”
He was already standing far away, ready to protect himself from my outburst.
I’m surprised he didn’t put on headphones.
But…
I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. I didn’t send him to the gas station.
Nothing.
He looked at me and carefully said: “What if I check the kitchen… and we bake something? Together. I’ll help.”
I looked at him and said: “Alright… why not. Let’s see what we have.”
He was shocked. Probably thought I had a fever. Or that this wasn’t his wife.
What he didn’t know…
THIS WAS MY PLAN ALL ALONG.
Muhahaha 😈
Yes. I KNEW there were no sweets.
And yes...I could’ve gone to the store earlier that day.
But I was lazy. And he was working.
So I planned my master plan:
How to make him help me bake… without him knowing he’s being manipulated.
Honestly...we didn’t have much at home.
BUT…
He put all his power into it and brought ingredients he thought would be perfect.
Only problem? No recipe. Only ingredients.
So how should he know what to bake?
And again… me… the mastermind 😌
“Oh don’t worry… I’ll throw something together.”
Part of the plan again.
I already knew what we had.
I already knew what I would bake.
Just without him knowing...so he’d think I’m a baking masterchef.
We put everything on the table.
He gives me ingredients.
I command.
🔥 Oven on 180°C
2 eggs, 80 g sugar and 1 vanilla sugar — mix well
2 dl milk - mix
60 g flour, half baking powder and vanilla pudding powder - mix
Frozen fruit — gently mix in
Pour into greased baking form.
Bake around 35 minutes.
Done.
He was impressed. I was proud.
My master plan worked 😉
Do you know how hard it is to convince my husband to bake with me?!
Almost impossible.
Usually it’s like: “I help you only if you help me later.”
But THIS TIME?
I convinced him. Without him knowing.
Muhahahaha 😈
Yes, I know he will read this.
So baby… just so you know:
If you’re offended that I planned everything so perfectly...that only means one thing:
After 15 years…
I can STILL bluff you. (Just like when we played Omaha 😏)
And for the rest of you:
These ingredients are things you usually have at home.
You can change them.
No pudding powder? Fine.
Fresh fruit? Even better.
This recipe is for emergencies only 😉
And honestly? It tastes pretty good 😉
So, men… all around the world…
ALWAYS have something sweet at home. (No. Not you.)
Give it to your woman when she needs it, and you will be a hero.
At least for that day. She’ll probably forget tomorrow 😉
With love, @tinabrezpike ❤️
