"...that's dyin off."

Isn't that reflective of the absorption of money into the 'system'? As the Jewish mob became the US government after the assassination of JFK, the Mafias, the Cosa Nostras, Triads, and Yakuzas of the world have been similarly absorbed into corporations and governments, almost without even a ripple to reveal such entities ever existed as discrete from official power structures.

"...yellow-skinned."

Das Rayciss! Srsly tho, despite being as white as rice (norse) my youthful association with Tlingits I was raised amongst included being labeled an apple, a rather confusing slander that was just as much a confirmation of acceptance by the natives as it was a claim of wrong-think. Thing is, my inherent dissidence made the accusation untrue on every level. No matter what cultural direction an accuser points fingers at me from, I dissent. It required an extraordinary effort to quell my gut reaction, my first instincts at every turn to separate, to differentiate, to focus on weaknesses and flaws in systems, hierarchies, and institutions in order to succeed as a father. Looking back today, I think that even as a self employed single father that homeschooled my sons on a compound innawoods, I did not separate myself enough, was too successful at working within legacy systems, to nurture such capacity for dissidence in my sons, who somehow rose to fill coveted niches in society I was never even aware of in my youth.

The truth, however, is I am an outlier, while my sons are more easy with social institutions. I can only blaze my own trail, and that requires far more effort to do than to merely follow paths that have been established. Now I am old and frailty makes blazing trails impossible. You can't swing a machete and chop away the jungle with both hands on your walker! I'm uncomfortable growing old, unable to retire, unable to bound up ladders with three bundles of shingles on my shoulder to outwork the laborers hired to do it, anymore. It feels like sleeping on a bed of nails that someone has robbed most of the nails from, leaving too few to support the weight of the soft corpulence that remains of my powerful meat prison.

Thanks!