If not all , but most of us grow up surrounded by customs, expectations, and ideas that become so common we rarely stop to question them. Sometimes we follow them simply because "that's how it's always been done over her," not because we truly agree with them or in anyway support those things
So, tell me, what's something society treats as completely normal that you have seen around and you've never fully agreed with? What made you see it differently?
The one I completely disagree with is the mentality or so called custom that either a man takes responsibility over a child or not, he can always claim his child as per paternity
I get your frustration😅 Do you think being a father is defined more by biology or by showing up consistently?
Sure it's not by biology or chemistry that you're a father. To be a father, you must be ready to show up, be available and not just being a figurehead
Like it so much irritates my hearing. You ran off from your responsibility as a father but feels like your child or children would always come looking for their father when they become grown up.
Like who painted that picture from the onset and caused that mentality?
It does make me wonder whether that belief has become so accepted that people use it to excuse irresponsibility instead of challenging it and do you think that belief has unintentionally made some fathers feel less accountable for their responsibilities?
Some will even tell you that on their child's wedding day, no one can replace them. You won't even see them mention convocation or matriculation
It is true that many of the practices and rules we adhere to have existed long before we were born. That also shaped the core of our mentality, and how we react towards social issues.
But as an adult, I've learned to be more curious in seeking the truth and motive behind things.
And one thing society treats completely normal that I do not quite agree with is the transfer of ownership of community assets to men and never women.
It proves that society still values men over women, and I find it nauseating to say the least.
It's interesting how some traditions survive even when the reasons behind them are no longer questioned....buh do you think it's mostly about preserving tradition or preserving male privilege?
I belive it's the latter being masked as the former. Crazy stuff but I hope more people begin to break free from these things.
I do wonder though if every tradition that benefits men was originally created because of privilege, or if some simply outlived the circumstances that gave rise to them. You know people smtimes keep doing things without ever asking why
Exactly or inheritance given to male children alone and not female because they have or will get married
You are right Yechee, and I also feel curiosity is what helps us separate inherited beliefs from beliefs we've actually chosen. Has it ever completely changed your perspective on something?
My curiosity and refusal to accept every thing that had been passed down to me, of course, has changed my perspective on many things. The land ownership transfer to males alone inclusive.
Not all can do this,it takes courage to re-examine beliefs you've inherited instead of accepting them by default. I guess curiosity isn't just about finding new answers, but also about deciding which old ones are still worth keeping, but then, each culture with different norms
Yeah we can't just choose to believe in a belief simply because it has been in existence before us.
Exactly 💯
Following something blindly isn't logical to me. Personally I ask and question a lot of things
For real, so many things have been made to seem completely normal especially in this our age and time. So many of them, we just grew up agreeing to them because they still make some sense and some, no sense at all. We should question these ones.
But do you think because it makes some sense and because we grew up with those things, we should now join them to do it?
No, maybe a few but it can't be all.
It's why we must question why we do the things we do to be sure they make sense or not.
Yeah! I think that make sense. Do you have a personal belief you treat normal but might not make sense to others?
Nahh it does not make sense in any way. Hypocrisy won't just allow people say what is right to say
One of them for me is why parenting work is left to the woman alone when both parents brought the children to the world. If child grows up bad, it's mother's fault. If child grows up good, it's father's pride. Both should have a hand in that child's life no matter what.
I agree that both parents should be actively involved. But do you think society always gives fathers the credit when a child turns out well? I've seen many cases where mothers receive the praise too...
Maybe the real issue isn't who gets the credit, but that people tend to place almost all the responsibility on the parent who is more present. If that's the case, isn't absence the bigger problem than gender?
Yeah, it is the bigger problem. And a lot of the time, it's the fathers not being present.
I agree that absent fathers are a real issue. But I wonder if the blame falls on mothers mainly because they're usually the ones who stay. If the roles were reversed and the father was the present parent while the mother was absent.....
do you think society would blame him just as much? Maybe the issue is less about gender and more about who remains to carry the responsibility
Yeah, it is more about who carries the responsibility and both are supposed to.
I feel like it's about who carries the responsibility cos even mothers who fails to carry theirs are been nailed on the cross
Not always but I'm more of the part where a child turns out bad and mothers get the blame.
I still talked about this today with someone. 4 eyes brought a child to the world and you expect the mother alone to carry the baby when he or she is crying
I was raised to question my own beliefs before questioning someone else's. That habit made me realize that many things we call "normal" are simply inherited, not examined. I don't reject tradition because it's old. I reject it if it can't stand up to the truth.
This is brilliant, glad you know better. And which tradition have you gotten to reject now that you know the truth?
The idea that productivity alone defines a person's worth. Although I'm hardworking, I've also reflected on rest, healing, and finding identity beyond constant output.
I like as you have redefined this cos we all have our grace. Some people work a little and they have seen results while others have to put in extra hours. Continue to rest, heal and find your identity when needed. That is very important please