Chloe’s Unknown Grandparents.

in The Ink Well6 months ago

Nicole kneeling right at the front of her parents while they are yelling and hurling some abusive words on her.
What kind of a girl are you? You’re fifteen and the only thing you could ever think of doing is getting pregnant? At your age? As from today, I banish you from staying in this house and I don’t ever want to see you close to me again.
The words broke her heart. I mean, her heart was shattered then she left the house not knowing where to go to.
I was wondering and thinking she could have at least gone to the guy who impregnated her but she didn’t.
She went to his place earlier that week and she was denied by the guy in presence of his parents. Everyone broke Nicole’s heart but she moved on with her life. She was more heartbroken because she is the only child of her parents and she felt unloved when she was sent away from the house.

She slept in the church for weeks, got to do menial jobs so she could feed herself and afford so many things. She gave birth to the child after nine months but the labor process was difficult. She could not afford to go to the hospital so some people in the church helped her to give birth to the baby. They cleaned her up and the baby too. She was shocked seeing what her baby looked like. Is it ever possible to have vitiligo and a very big birth mark on her face? she asked herself.
She took care of the child with all she had even though she didn’t have enough. She could not even feed herself. She could hardly afford a day meal not even talking of the normal three square meal a normal person can afford.


Source

She thought of putting the child somewhere but she could not. There was nowhere she could run to and she does not ever want to be part of people who throw their kids away because they were not ready to be mothers.

She woke up one day thinking of what to eat as usual. She wasn’t even thinking of where to sleep or rest her head on since food was the most important thing. She made up her mind and dropped her daughter in a motherless home. Her daughter was barely three months old. When she got to the motherless home, she told them that she found the baby on the floor and cleaned her up so she could bring her so she doesn’t suffer.
The baby was accepted but she pleaded with them if she could give the child a name. They accepted since she was the one who brought the baby even though they didn’t know that she was the mother of the child. She named her daughter Chloe right away. She had plans to come pick up Chloe after a few years when she could at least feed herself and have shelter.
After two years, her parents went to that same motherless home to adopt a child. They assumed they didn’t have any child since they sent Nicole away from their home.

They fell in love with Nicole especially because of her skin and birth mark. They pitied her and decided to adopt her. They fell in love with her immediately and they took her home.
They cleaned Chloe up and told her about their daughter who got pregnant and she was sent out of the house. That was like a warning to Chloe so she doesn’t do the same thing.
She was given Nicole’s room. She managed the room well.
She was also enrolled in school and luckily, she’s one of the smartest kids in her class just like Nicole, her mother.
She kept on making her unknown grandparents proud.

One day, Chloe had gone to school and her unknown grandparents were the only ones at home. They heard the banging of the gate. They wondered who could be hitting the gate like that. When they opened the gate, they were shocked to see their daughter, Nicole. They felt bad seeing the way she looked like. She looked like a ghetto girl who had never had any form of enjoyment in her life. It was clear that she was suffering.
Out of pity, she was accepted back into their house. She begged her parents and they accepted her. Where’s the child you gave birth to? her mother asked and she told her mother that it was a long story and she would not like to talk about it for now.
After a few hours, Chloe got back from school. Nicole was shocked. She was the vitiligo on her daughter’s body and the birth mark which was the main reason why she could recognize her daughter very well.


Source

She shouted; Chloe!!!. Her parents were shocked and that was the craziest Ah ha moment of their lives. They wondered how Nicole met Chloe and Chloe narrated the story to them and all that happened to her. They later found out that Chloe was their granddaughter. They were at least thankful that they brought their smart and sharp granddaughter back to the house.
They also pleaded with Nicole for sending her away during her tough times instead of staying by her during her sad times.

The end

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Aah... that's a lovely ending, a happy one too. Love that they are all back under one roof ❤️

That’s the aim
!LADY

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They should have stayed with Chloe instead of sending her away . This is very good story!!

Thanks for reading

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Thank you🥰🥰

This piece had the makings of a good story, however, it needs an edit to resolve issues with punctuation and grammar, eg: speech marks in dialogue, and some word choices. Try Grammarly or Google docs. It is also very important that you proofread your own work. At one point you call Chloe, Nicole by mistake. You also have Chloe, at the age of two years old, being told about her mother's pregnancy as a warning, and later you have Chloe explain to Nicole everything that had happened to her. Given Chloe's age at the time of her adoption, these elements of the story lack a sense of realism. The story needs to be credible to retain the interest of the reader, otherwise you are likely to lose them early and they won't read to the end. Something to consider for your next piece :-) Please do remember that we require each writer to read and support at least TWO other stories in The Ink Well each time they submit a story of their own.

I’d make amends
Thank you

It is a good story. Quite emotional. There are a few little things in there, but it can happen to anyone. Sometimes we don't see our own mistakes when we're writing... It's happened to me many times. The best thing to do is to ask someone to read what you wrote before you publish it, but of course someone you know won't read just for the sake of reading.

On the other hand, there are parents who make the serious mistake of pushing their children away when they make a mistake... When in reality the mistake may be theirs for not preparing and educating their children well, even when it comes to sex and thus preventing unwanted pregnancies and diseases.

I liked the story.

Aww
Thanks for liking it even though there were errors

They're not a big deal, and I don't think that detracts from the plot of the story. It was a pleasure to read you

You made a few mistakes but you have a fantastic story
Love it!

It was really unfortunate for Nicole to experience that kind of experience. Raising a child in such a dire situation was really admirable because not all women have the kind of bravery to raise a child alone. In the end, fate did really find a way to bring their family together. Thanks for sharing, @rafzat!

Hi @rafzat, it's a very interesting story, but, but I would have liked to read some dialogues in it.
Best wishes and happy weekend.

!ALIVE