Many times I feel like my head is going to fall off, as if I had no support, and this is totally literal, to this day it happens to me almost daily and it doesn't feel pleasant at all.
I have consulted some doctors, traumatologists and physiatrists, and whenever I describe the symptoms one of this is: I feel like my head is going to come off and roll away, sometimes I take it with humor, other times I really want to rip my head off and put it back on so it doesn't bother me, but for now I have to live like this, it is horrible but not as bad as it seems, or is it?
Sometimes the discomfort is mild and I try not to pay attention to it and continue my life as if nothing happened, however that horrible feeling has been there for quite a while and many times I have to lie down and immobilize myself to relieve it because there is no painkiller that works for that.
The last doctor I went to who was giving me ozone injection therapy asked me how I had felt after the first session, to which I replied that up to that point I felt no improvement and he jokingly said:
“Have your head cut off.”
We laughed, I don't make drama out of it anymore, but I don't take it lightly either, after all it is my head, I listen to myself there and although I am not always pleasant, I want to keep listening to myself for a good while more
Just a couple of days ago I wrote to a friend to say hello and she also joked with me, she asked me if I already had my head in place, I replied that it has never been like that and we laughed, I have to laugh a little bit about this desperate situation because otherwise I can go crazy.
Feeling that your head is held to your spine with barbed wire is as horrible as it reads, but it happens and I tell you from my own experience. If it comes off and rolls away I might be lucky and be able to weld it to the rest of the body, according to divine perfection, if it exists, but with much more luck I would be healed just by imagining it in a very vivid daydream, magically achieving a spontaneous remission.
It is said that a girl with a serious illness was cured without any explanation after falling through the interior of a huge hollow tree, a fall that could have killed her, but rather was her salvation. Incredible? Maybe. Impossible? I don't think so. Just the fact of existing is something extraordinary, just because we can't explain something doesn't mean it's not possible.
Surely my head will fit back on right, I like to think about it often even though the doctors say it's not curable, it's rolled around enough and I literally get very dizzy at times, among other discomforts, so I see everything slightly distorted, though maybe that part isn't so bad.
And by the way, of course I miss my head from before the barbed wires arrived, it is not the prettiest head in the world, nor the most intelligent nor the most creative, as is obvious, but I am still satisfied.
This writing is inspired by @galenkp's proposal for this weekend.
Posted Using INLEO