Anger is an emotion that every human has naturally; it's just that we all express it differently. One thing I have learned about anger issues is that spoken words cannot be retrieved, and also some ill actions taken out of anger are just irreversible and mostly lead to regrets.
Before now, I used to be highly expressive when I am angry, but then I usually ended up saying words I felt I should retrieve when I eventually calmed down; unfortunately, it's impossible. Sometimes, I find myself acting in a way that ordinarily I shouldn't have done that if not for anger. To be sincere, it hasn't done me any good expressing myself so far whenever I am angry, but rather heats up the scene with much drama, especially when I am dealing with someone with a high temperament as well.
However, I have resorted to finding healthy ways to communicate my feelings without being so expressive, especially when the issue is still ongoing. Sometimes, I go to my closet and express myself through writing, especially when it has to do with my husband. I also delay conversations whenever I notice that I am already heated up and rather strive to stay calm with the discussions. The first time I stayed calm instead of responding to the argument from a close friend, she thought I ignored her, but that's not it; I only tried to avoid using words I would regret later, but at the end of the day, I still found time to resolve the matter with her when I was calm enough.
Those days when I used to be an expressive type when angry, I remember using very hurtful words that nearly damaged the good relationship I built with my husband. In fact, expressing myself at the point of the issue I had with my husband then only escalated the conflicts instead of resolving them. I was overly exhausted emotionally, and even my kids around felt the heat of the whole issue. I am never a fan of involving a third party in my marriage, but at this point, I did because the issue was growing beyond my control.
Being expressive when you are angry is indeed a good way to express your feelings instead of being suppressed, but it doesn't just work for me because I will over say things out of anger. Out of my past experience, I have switched to being a silent type because of my personality. Even though it feels like my emotions are being bottled up at that time, the end result gives me peace. Sometimes, dragging right or wrong doesn't yield the kind of results we want, but giving issues some time, being patient enough for the other party to be calm before expressing myself in detail, has been a good way to resolve every conflict around me.
At the end of the day, it depends on us individually. But personally, being silent when angry works better for me, especially with the new tactics I found for dealing with anger issues and conflict resolution.
So I ask you, are you silent or expressive when angry?
This post was inspired by the #inleo community and my entry to the #februaryinleo monthly topic Day 11.Please check out the prompt to get involved.
Images are mine
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