As far as Hive writers go, I am relatively prolific and also consistent. This isn't a brag of any kind, it is just the way it is and has been for many years - almost seven straight years now in fact. And of course, since this is the Hive blockchain, it is all there to be view for almost ever. So I think that the tagline in my bio is relatively fitting.
Occasionally, I like to have a loo at some of the numbers around consistency, because it is something I value in life. It isn't about being committed to an idea, or a topic, it is about trying to do the best possible each day, through thick and thin. In fact, some of the most valuable (to me) pieces I have written, have been through the hardest times of my life. Times when most people wouldn't have spent the time writing a few words.
Or a thousand.
It is not that I share every detail of my life, but sharing parts of the experience has helped me process and accept all kinds of events that otherwise, might have scared me more deeply. It is like starting the healing process, even whilst the knife is cutting through the flesh.
While I joined in January 2017, I haven't missed a day writing from around mid 2017 and in total, that is 6175 posts, and 64018 comments. That is 2.4 posts on average a day and 25.6 comments a day - every day, for 2,498 days. And I have slowed down, because I just don't have the time to be quite as present as I would like. But all in all, I am relatively engaged.
And as said, I have written through thick and thin, where I have been writing whilst on holidays with my family, as well as in hospitals with my family. When my daughter was suffering unexplained seizures, I was writing. Though having a stroke, I was writing. And as my wife suffered a miscarriage, I was writing. Around hundreds of doctor appointments, treatments, and hospital stays, I was writing. Through periods where my wife and I were unsure if we could feed ourselves under the burdens of medical costs, I was writing. As my business floundered due to lockdowns, through furloughs from my job, as bills mounted up and life felt like it was sitting on my chest, I was writing.
Everyone should write.
It is cathartic and allows us to reflect by stepping outside of our immediate life, and see from a distance. It gives us a chance to be critical of our behaviors, as well as be kind to ourselves when we know we are doing our best, even when our best wasn't good enough. Or when we already know, it isn't going to be good enough for what we will have to face, but there is no other option but to do what is possible, and limit as much damage as we can.
The amount of times I felt that I just wanted to stop, laydown and give up throughout my life is many, many times. But, since the birth of my daughter, that feeling is met with a sense of ridicule. Because when it was just me, it was possible - now it is not.
I can never be free in life.
But, what I can do is live the best life I can live. Which isn't necessarily the one where I get everything I want from it. I think there is something to be said about the value of service, but I don't believe in some kind of higher power, some kind of afterlife to attain. Instead, I can be in service to my daughter, to my community, to strangers on the street at a level that is manageable, and sustainable, depending on the moment. Sometimes, I am generous. Sometimes, I have nothing left to give.
I am depleted.
However, spending some time writing is like plugging in for a recharge; it gives the energy to push again. Sometimes it requires digging deep, sometimes the insight it brings the reserves to the surface easily. It is like mining personal opportunity, and we never know how deep the well goes, until we throw a rock and listen for the splash.
Tested mettle.
Our minds, body and spirit can only cope with so much pressure, so much stress. And we can learn to increase that mount through training, practice and exposure. It is uncomfortable, painful, and crushing at times, but if we want to be our best, we have to test what that looks like, feels like, and perhaps even where our breaking point is. To failure.
What is there to be scared of?
We only live once once is often cited as a reason to not care about the future, to live the moment, to spend now, even if it increases the costs later. However, it goes the other way too - we only die once, which means failure is not something to fear, it is not something to avoid, we can try and try again, until we can try no more. We can be our best, until nothing is left of us at all. What are we saving ourselves for?
Throw the coin.
Listen for the splash.
Do it again tomorrow, and test what has changed.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
